I realized that we should not further our relationship from the beginning since I'll already have a girlfriend since before we mate in tg malim, i have to admit i'll just not too good enough 4 her since she is the good one (perempan yg baik2) compared to me who have a demon inside. ha3 and i'll have to be doubt mybe i was involved in unrequited love since i'll have nothing include behaviour, attitude, credibility or even good looking to attract her. I'll just have nothing. I was to afraid to tell her that I was falling in love with her but i just can't make sure since when.
But now it was already too late. I'm just starting to blame myself since she said to me i was knowing her since the beginning of our journey at university but i was doing nothing to get her. If we could go back to the start since the first time we mate, of course i should leave my girlfriend to her. But as i said it's already too late. Our relationship already reach 3 years and right now she already have someone else and she also has a good plan for her future. For us to become together is impossible. They are a lot of the problem will occur and there are a lot of people feelings we need to take care.
I dont blame her but myself. But before it's already ended up. I'll just need to know, is she feel the same way just like what i feel right know, is she like me or even love me just what i do. I'm just feeling very happy and calmly when she's around me,I'll always being myself in front of her, honest and even told her about my past. If she just read what i was writing right know it's already make me happy because finally I want to let her know how's my feeling about her. Thanks 4 being my special part in my life. I may not regret because i would never be with you. Because i believe with the fate of good. I will not cry because it almost over, but i will smile because it happened. Thanks for the good memories. I will always remembered all of them. Thank you.
*ustaz Azhar pernah ckp jodoh, rezeki, dan ajal maut semua sudah ditentukan pada kita oleh Allah sejak dalam kandungan ketika berusia 4 bulan, semua itu tercatat di loh Mahfuz.
- i'll wonder sapelah jodoh aku nanti.. :-)